And further discussion has lead us to a completely new Shakespeare theory:
[14:56] *unicef Myra.: I'd prolly marry Hamlet if I had a choice between Shakespearean guys
[14:56] *unicef Myra.: but it's slim picking, cause they're all pretty sissy.
[15:03] David Bowie: I really liked that guy in Midsummer Night's Dream. Lysander
[15:03] *unicef Myra.: who was in, what was that play called... the one where the girl pretends to be the guy?
[15:03] *unicef Myra.: UGH I FORGOT THE NAME!!!
[15:04] *unicef Myra.: the one they made into that horrible Amanda Bynes movie
[15:04] David Bowie: oh oh
[15:04] David Bowie: Twelfth Night
[15:04] David Bowie: NO NO
[15:04] David Bowie: Merchant of Venice
[15:04] David Bowie: NO it was Twelfth Night
[15:04] *unicef Myra.: no Twelfth Night was chill.
[15:04] *unicef Myra.: yeah it was
[15:04] *unicef Myra.: Merchant of Venice was with Shylock
[15:04] *unicef Myra.: the annoying Jewish guy
[15:04] David Bowie: yeah
[15:04] David Bowie: but they both have women dressing up as men
[15:05] David Bowie: Shakespeare sure was into tranny-hood.
[15:05] *unicef Myra.: because HE WAS ONE TOO
[15:05] *unicef Myra.: ON THE INSIDE
[15:05] *unicef Myra.: I think if Shakespeare was here now, he'd be a drag queen
[15:05] David Bowie: WHAT IF SHAKESPEARE IS ACTUALLY A WOMAN?
[15:05] David Bowie: WAS ACTUALLY A WOMAN?
[15:05] *unicef Myra.: maybeee
[15:05] David Bowie: Dressed up as a man? All along?
[15:05] David Bowie: WHATTA BLOW TO THE LITERARY STANDING OF MEN
[15:06] *unicef Myra.: that'd be GREAT
[15:06] *unicef Myra.: if he were a woman
[15:06] *unicef Myra.: cause then we could truly say that women were the better writers
[15:06] *unicef Myra.: CAUSE WE'D HAVE SHAKESPEARE ON OUR SIDE
[15:06] David Bowie: YEAHHHH
[15:07] David Bowie: Omg what if she's revealing our secret to us?
[15:07] David Bowie: Like right now!
[15:07] David Bowie: because we're feminists and uh wonderful writers
[15:07] *unicef Myra.: OMG
[15:07] David Bowie: or close to being okay writers
[15:07] *unicef Myra.: WE COULD HAVE A HISTORICAL THRILLER HERE!!!!!
[15:07] David Bowie: or just writers
[15:07] *unicef Myra.: we'd be like Dan Brown, BUT COOLER
[15:07] *unicef Myra.: cause our thing would be TRUE
[15:07] David Bowie: THIS IS FREAKING BRILLIANT
[15:08] David Bowie: We are solving the bestest biggest mystery EVERRRR
[15:08] *unicef Myra.: NACE
[15:08] *unicef Myra.: thanks Shakespeare, we got your back
[15:08] *unicef Myra.: you're one of the girls now
Women: 1. Men: 0.
Except if Shakespeare really is using mind control to make us blog about her, this narcisssm is actually quite characteristic of men. The male ego which is the cause of wars, famine, and getting lost on road trips.
Bummer.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Will(iam) you forgive us?
I finally bugged Myra into posting on her blog. This is what she posted:
Avoiding Wrathful Friends
It's about the stupidity of Taylor Swift and Romeo, who is featured in Taylor Swift's song.
Did you know I've posted about Romeo too? I have:
"And I want mine in skinny jeans!"
And the underlying theme of both our posts is exactly the same. You know what else is exactly the same? THE DATE WE WROTE THESE ON. Go look! I wrote mine on April 26 of last year. She wrote hers on April 26 of this year.
That's today.
There's something else that happened today too. April 26th is Shakespeare's estimated BIRTH DATE.
How creepy is that????
We're freaking out. What if we are Shakespeare's Chosen Ones? What if he is controlling our minds from beyond the grave? What if he's trying to get his point across through us? That's Myra's theory.
But here's mine: What if he's haunting us for making fun of Romeo?
What if, like, Naveen tells Myra that I have died? And Myra comes back to Karachi and poisons herself and I, who was alive all along, wake up and stab myself?
We're not Romeo and Juliet, star-crossed lovers, but what if that is how Shakespeare wants to punish us???
We're afraid. Very afraid.
But we haven't learnt our lesson:
[14:45] *unicef Myra.: I am truly creeped out by this.
[14:45] David Bowie: me tuz.
[14:45] David Bowie: :[
[14:45] *unicef Myra.: wow, who knew Romeo would be this weird?
[14:54] David Bowie: well he did go about calling out to Juliet in front of her balcony
[14:54] David Bowie: and getting into fights and killing people
[14:54] David Bowie: and then killing himself with poison
[14:54] David Bowie: You know I really should get off his case now.
[14:54] *unicef Myra.: eh, he was just asking to get hit. I'm sure if he hadn't offed himself, someone from the Capulets would have anyway
[14:55] *unicef Myra.: I know, but he has a lot riding against him for being such a romantic hero
[14:55] *unicef Myra.: I would never want to marry a guy who wasn't smart enough to check if I was ACTUALLY dead
[14:56] David Bowie: I know right? Whatta loser.
We should be on Most Haunted now. Or TAPS. Or under psychiatric treatment. It could be our subconscious messing with us.
BUT HOW DID MY SUBCONSCIOUS FIND OUT SHAKESPEARE'S DATE OF BIRTH?
Avoiding Wrathful Friends
It's about the stupidity of Taylor Swift and Romeo, who is featured in Taylor Swift's song.
Did you know I've posted about Romeo too? I have:
"And I want mine in skinny jeans!"
And the underlying theme of both our posts is exactly the same. You know what else is exactly the same? THE DATE WE WROTE THESE ON. Go look! I wrote mine on April 26 of last year. She wrote hers on April 26 of this year.
That's today.
There's something else that happened today too. April 26th is Shakespeare's estimated BIRTH DATE.
How creepy is that????
We're freaking out. What if we are Shakespeare's Chosen Ones? What if he is controlling our minds from beyond the grave? What if he's trying to get his point across through us? That's Myra's theory.
But here's mine: What if he's haunting us for making fun of Romeo?
What if, like, Naveen tells Myra that I have died? And Myra comes back to Karachi and poisons herself and I, who was alive all along, wake up and stab myself?
We're not Romeo and Juliet, star-crossed lovers, but what if that is how Shakespeare wants to punish us???
We're afraid. Very afraid.
But we haven't learnt our lesson:
[14:45] *unicef Myra.: I am truly creeped out by this.
[14:45] David Bowie: me tuz.
[14:45] David Bowie: :[
[14:45] *unicef Myra.: wow, who knew Romeo would be this weird?
[14:54] David Bowie: well he did go about calling out to Juliet in front of her balcony
[14:54] David Bowie: and getting into fights and killing people
[14:54] David Bowie: and then killing himself with poison
[14:54] David Bowie: You know I really should get off his case now.
[14:54] *unicef Myra.: eh, he was just asking to get hit. I'm sure if he hadn't offed himself, someone from the Capulets would have anyway
[14:55] *unicef Myra.: I know, but he has a lot riding against him for being such a romantic hero
[14:55] *unicef Myra.: I would never want to marry a guy who wasn't smart enough to check if I was ACTUALLY dead
[14:56] David Bowie: I know right? Whatta loser.
We should be on Most Haunted now. Or TAPS. Or under psychiatric treatment. It could be our subconscious messing with us.
BUT HOW DID MY SUBCONSCIOUS FIND OUT SHAKESPEARE'S DATE OF BIRTH?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
"Sex and marijuana will kill your nation's youth!" - by Naveed Tariq
Reading up on Aziza's blog a few things came to mind, coincidentally or maybe not so coincidentally related to the last few of her entries.
Zong. It is evil. It is here to corrupt Pakistan's youth.
And in the ever fashionable conspiracy-theorists' way, I have very little to supposrt my claim. BUT, the little I do have is so groundbreaking, so unimaginable, so HORRENDUS, that when you read it you will most likely want go outside right now and eat lots of Dairy Milk.
Zong, it rhymes. What with I hear you ask? SHLONG! BONG!
SHLONG BONG! SEX AND MARIJUANA! The two very things that are eroding America's adolesents have been sent here to wreck havoc!
And I don't care if Zong is owned by China Mobile, it's all the Illuminati's fault!
Shlong, Bong, Zong.
Don't buy Zong. Evil hai.
Zong. It is evil. It is here to corrupt Pakistan's youth.
And in the ever fashionable conspiracy-theorists' way, I have very little to supposrt my claim. BUT, the little I do have is so groundbreaking, so unimaginable, so HORRENDUS, that when you read it you will most likely want go outside right now and eat lots of Dairy Milk.
Zong, it rhymes. What with I hear you ask? SHLONG! BONG!
SHLONG BONG! SEX AND MARIJUANA! The two very things that are eroding America's adolesents have been sent here to wreck havoc!
And I don't care if Zong is owned by China Mobile, it's all the Illuminati's fault!
Shlong, Bong, Zong.
Don't buy Zong. Evil hai.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Wordy
[Hey, my posts are turning out linked this time!]
Naveen texted me about it and so I entered a Zong-City FM 89 poetry competition. With RePublic Display of Affection. The prize is a new phone of your choice.
But I will not win it because even though Zong's slogan is "sub keh do" I know they will censor me because they are cowards and not revolutionary. Despite being a Chinese company.
They'll probably go for some lovey dovey poem instead. Or something off someone's emo blog. They will not let me keh do sub.
However, should I win, do you think they will let me test if my potentional new cellphone's dictionary has the word 'bitch' in it?
Naveen texted me about it and so I entered a Zong-City FM 89 poetry competition. With RePublic Display of Affection. The prize is a new phone of your choice.
But I will not win it because even though Zong's slogan is "sub keh do" I know they will censor me because they are cowards and not revolutionary. Despite being a Chinese company.
They'll probably go for some lovey dovey poem instead. Or something off someone's emo blog. They will not let me keh do sub.
However, should I win, do you think they will let me test if my potentional new cellphone's dictionary has the word 'bitch' in it?
Oh, by the way
My cellphone's dictionary does not actually allow me to type out 'bitch'. Instead it says 'citag'.
Citag.
What is this sexism, I ask you? The dictionary can spell out 'dog' perfectly well, but not 'bitch'. WELL, I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS SAMSUNG BUT A BITCH HAPPENS TO BE A FEMALE DOG. Stupid discriminating Koreans.
I should write to them a letter. Get a petition signed. Release wild citags at them to rip them apart.
Shame on them.
And shame on me for being unable to boycott them since this is the only cellphone I have. (sigh)
Citag.
What is this sexism, I ask you? The dictionary can spell out 'dog' perfectly well, but not 'bitch'. WELL, I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS SAMSUNG BUT A BITCH HAPPENS TO BE A FEMALE DOG. Stupid discriminating Koreans.
I should write to them a letter. Get a petition signed. Release wild citags at them to rip them apart.
Shame on them.
And shame on me for being unable to boycott them since this is the only cellphone I have. (sigh)
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