Monday, March 31, 2008

Quite Suited for the Job

Do any of you remember how after Benazir's assassination I was all "You know what? I should be the next Prime Minister." And then I went on to relay this entire plan of what I'd do after becoming PM which started off with my lining the irrigation canals.
And remember how everyone laughed at me and my idea, including my own mother, my flesh and blood, and how ya'll were like "Hah! Why'd you want to do that? That is so lame. Lining canals! Pffft."?

Now that Yousuf Gillani is the PM, guess what he's doing? Brick-lining the irrigation canals. Mhm. So you were saying...?

Monday, March 24, 2008

History!

New Prime Minister!
Nominated by the coalition of PPP/PML-N/MQM we have a new Prime Minister! There was never any doubt about him not winning the elections today, I mean there could possibly not have been enough people to vote against him after the coalition. But still. Ta-dah!


Yousuf Raza Gillani!
Check out the V-sign! And he looks like the Pringles guy in this picture! Haha, aw.

Today, with the power of his new position Gillani has freed all the judges that had been kept under house arrest, like the Chief of Justice. Everyone's gone crazy excited and are shown on TV jumping around to the dhol-people's precussions.

I know they don't realise this but the dhol-people really have a giant bit in our country's political history. They're like fair-weather friends- always there for the good times.

Also, has anyone noticed Gillani's excellent hairstyle?Yeah, this isn't a very good picture but as of now Google has very few pictures of him. There were even lesser yesterday when I checked. Not very popular, this man is. But can you see how his hair makes this very distinct wave shape? 'Cause he's balding from both sides of his forehead and uses the hair in the middle to cover one bald spot?
It's quite sad. But then again, we've all seen Asif Zardari and Altaf Hussain.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Say What?

Asif Zardari does not look very much like an educated man. I mean, if you've seen him you know what I mean. He looks like he was running a tractor when he decided "Hey, maybe I should become the Prime Minister!"
Yet, it is said that he has in fact graduated from from Cadet College Petaro, Dadu for his equivalent of a high school education. And, if you can believe it, he has also gotten a degree from the London School of Economics and Business.
And you know why I think you might find it hard to believe? 'Cause so far, after some good searching, British officials have not even found a London School of Economics and Business! There isn't one! Not one that anyone knows of, anyways.
Ha ha ha! How excellent is that? He's been faking it for decades now, possibly, and only this week we find out that he might just not have a degree at all!

Minimum degree of graduation? A requirement for the position of parliamentarian? Hasn't been so for Mr. Zardari!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Bringing Sexy Back. Not.

Did you see how on Dawn News (the channel) how they had the headline going "BILAWAL IS BACK"? He is!
He's back from Oxford to announce who's going to be the new Prime Minister. Like announcing the winner of the Best Actor in a Supporting Role for the Oscars! He's here for his easter holidays which were going to be spent in Dubai with his sisters previously. But some lady in the news said that the Oxford examinations are coming and he should be studying and not be here. Come now, Bilawal, even I'm studying.
Good news is, he's started opening his eyes now. Literally. Like now he doesn't look drunk 24/7. Maybe he had eyelid surgery done. Or maybe Boozie Suzie stole all his liquor.

Going along the lines of the next Prime Minister, there was a phadda in the coalition for the nomination of PM. Asif Zardari and Makhdoom Amin Fahim were all "Yo, getcho face outta mine or I'mma twist yo' head so yo' caps on straight" 'cause Makhdoom was the one who was supposed to become PM but now Zardari's trying to butt in on his possible big moment. Rabia at school said that it's time to send Zardari a bomb in a mango crate.

Also, guess who's the new National Assembly speaker? For the first time in Pakistani history it is a woman. It's Dr. Fehmida Mirza! Yay for the lay-days!

Now here's a nice picture of Bilawal for all of you Billy Lovers out there (basically Naveen and Anum):

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Kub hon gay kum yeh dunya ke gham?

Talk about depressing. Someone get me some Prozac.
Well, okay, it's not that bad. I finished reading The Subtle Knife last night and let me tell you, THAT BOOK IS SAD. Everybody good just dies in the end. What's that all about, I ask you? I mean, I fully expected, while reading, that the people dying would get healed somehow, you know? Somehow. And then RANDOMLY the book ends and everyone's dead. Alright, not everyone, but the cool people, yes.
No wonder Naveed likes this book. Emo kid.

Other than that I also had my accounts comprehensive test and if you take accounts you probably know what I mean when I say nothing balanced. It means that I'm failing. Oh well, happens.

OOH also, I've found pictures of Nick Zinner's girlfriend, Amalia or Aliyah or- well no one seems to know for sure what her name is. Here:

Wow, those are REALLY tiny pictures. But yes, try not to confuse Nick on the left as being Amalia/ Aliyah in the left picture and on the right in the other one because I know Anum will deliberately do so. And doesn't she totally look like the child of Nick and Demi Moore, were they ever to have one?


That's Demi Moore in case you didn't know.

But you guys never agree with my look-a-like theories.

Oh and Danny got kicked out of American Idol last week. I swear, first America's working for gay rights and then they kick off the the gay dude altogether! There goes my favorite girl contestant.

And Asif Zardari will be trying for Prime Minister. Woo. Hoo. There goes Pakistan.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Aliza's email address

Props to Naveed for finding out such a lovely piece of information. He is the new Nancy Drew.

We all know Aliza. Aliza Qaisar. The most non-pervy, sensible (Naveed's words) and mature person of us all. Well I guess we didn't know her well enough. For do you know what her old e-mail address was? No? Well let me tell you!

wannaplay73@hotmail.com

I do not kid you. That's all I have to say.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Naveen over-reacts again, Anum 'no for sale'

Well, she did.
We had this electricity crisis like 3 days ago, if anyone remembers. One of KESC's generators got messed up, if I'm right, and then the electricity was gone for hours. I was at home that day for no particular reason and was reading The Subtle Knife and texted Naveen that I thought Gel Boy would make a stellar Will Parry. She replied going "Did you hear about the electricity crisis I don't know how you can be so happy and thinking about Gel Boy when your country is falling apart."
I swear, at times like these I really feel that Naveen should have a blog and not I. She's full-on drama-scene about everything!
More people would read it then, too.

Ooh, IDEA! Let's make this a joint blog! YEAH.

Anum's back after 4 days in Malaysia for our field trip. She witnessed a guy ask their van driver if he could buy the girls. The van driver said "They no for sale." Anum says Malaysian's don't really know English very well. Whatever, atleast they have morals. Which is more than can be said for either her or I.