"And I want mine in skinny jeans!"

I was reading Princess Diaries' part 4 yesterday, and I would be embarrassed admitting to that but actually those books are quite interesting- even if they are kind of unrealistic seeing how it's totally impossible to write 6 pages coherently while in an eatery's bathroom stall or, especially, in a car, in the time period Mia completes them in.
Anyways, in this one there were these multiple mentions of wanting a 'Romeo in cargo pants' or loving a 'Romeo in black jeans' and that just got me thinking- why on earth do you care what pants your Romeo wears?
And more importantly, why do you even want a Romeo?

If I have it right, Romeo was an idiot. Not only did he break into the house of his family's mortal enemies but he also stood there calling out to Juliet. How stupid is that? He could have gotten shot! Or stabbed, because I guess they didn't have guns back then.
And if that's not all, he also took poison because he thought Juliet had died. Didn't it ever occur to him to check her pulse before he killed himself? Maybe Juliet just liked to sleep in tombs. Maybe Juliet was a Goth. YOU DON'T KILL YOURSELF IF YOU AREN'T SURE THAT THE PERSON YOU'RE DYING FOR IS EVEN ACTUALLY DEAD.

Not to say that Juliet was any bit smart, the way she stabbed herself for a guy. Sure, she loved him, but have some self-respect, woman! And you can't even defend them by saying 'Oh they were only 14/15!'. I'm 15, and I wouldn't go drinking poison or driving daggers into my heart.

Also, did you know that there is actually a group of people in Verona, Italy (the place after which the city where Romeo and Juliet's story is set is named) who answer these like thousands of letters from around the world every year addressed to Juliet from people who're having love troubles? Yeah, seriously.
I guess the senders of those letters don't realise that when you're asking a fictional character who committed suicide for help with your love life, maybe love isn't your only problem.

Get a doorbell.

I was up till 4:30 a.m. this morning when I really, really wanted to get some sleep.
It was around 4:10 that I began coming up with some excellent Knock Knock jokes. I'm not sure if it was the exhaustion or the boredom or the fact that I was to get my mock results today that contributed to this fun-fest (fiesta de grupos!) but whatever it was, I thank it.
Here are my little gems:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hell.
Hell Who?
Hello.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Woo.
Woo Who?
Well, don't you get excited meeting me!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?
That show happens to be fictional, you know.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Screw.
Screw who?
Screw you.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Who.
Who Who?
Why are you repeating yourself?


Okay, so the second one actually kinda sounds weird, I mean the punch-line of it does. But leave it to me to want appropriate grammar from a Knock Knock joke.
Either way, if making Knock Knock jokes was an Olympic sport, I'd already have the gold, babeh.

Twinkies!

Mehdiyeh was watching Discovery Channel a whole bunch of days back and here's what she has reported seeing:
Apparently, because of global warming, polar bears are having a sex change! Well actually it's just female bears turning male.

I don't mean to laugh at the plight of these poor animals but hahaha can you imagine that? A female polar bear waking up and being like 'Oh, hello... I'm a dude?'.
And how is this going to affect family values among the bears? How are the kid bears going to live with two dads? They'll need to introduce gay rights to their society! Because there won't be enough ladies left! It'll be like China, where they kidnap women and sell them off as wives because the one-child-per-family law has greatly reduced the number of girls in China. There'll be a polar bear black market! And won't they eventually go extinct this way?

While I'm at it, may I also ask why global warming is so damn sexist? Why are the female polar bears turning male? Why isn't it the other way around, huh? Like this world needs anymore testosterone. Forget about extinction because of lack of mating, the polar bears will probably just like fight each other to death now.

And ofcourse, Mehdiyeh's top concern: What if this starts happening to humans, too?
I doubt it, but if it does then I guess the apocalypse is nigh.

Up the crack of a yak!

I made cupcakes yesterday. I don't know what it is about exams but they always make me want to bake. Maybe it's just me not wanting to study. Anyways, my cupcakes are killer.
Literally.
It might have been the icing but the whole batch just turned out super sugary. Like 'Oh, my God, I think I can feel my teeth rot' sugary. It's just a bunch of diabetes-inducers. Nobody wants to eat them. They also kinda got burnt from the bottom 'cause I left them in the oven too long 'cause they wouldn't rise. What on earth has happened to me? I used to know how to make cupcakes!
I blame O Levels, because I feel the need to blame something.
And everyone keeps making fun of my cupcakes. Well they can just bite me.
It's quite clear they refuse to bite into the sugar bombs.

I also seem to realise that lack of sugar may not be the cause of my random crankiness because today I just want to scream and hit all those idiots on Facebook who feel it absolutely necessary to have almost every single application the site has on offer. Especially the damn quizzes.
WHY do they need to do that? Really, just why? Do I care to know what your favorite sexual position is? Do I care at all about what kind of nail polish you are? Does anyone other than themselves care about all this? I think not.
Ya'll application addicts need to take a lesson from Naveen. Naveen takes all those quizzes (okay, maybe not the dirty ones) and what does she do after she's found out what kind of Barbie she is (she's a Trendy Bendy Barbie, in case you're wondering)? She deletes the application.
Get the girl an award.

Also, last night Anum told me that since I want to know so bad how it must feel, one day she'll get drunk for me and let me know what it was like. I find the gesture so thoughtful that I guess maybe I'll cut myself and let Anum know what that's like. Because my Love Signs book does say that I'm masochistic, so I'll probably enjoy cutting my self.
Yeah, RIGHT. I'm going to pass out from the pain, sure I'll just love it. Idiot Linda Goodman and her ideas on my poor zodiac sign.
Oh, my God, hold on, I just realised that I get hurt a LOT. You know, how I'm always falling over and how I always get hit with some tennis ball or basketball? It's quite well-known how unfortunate I am that way and I just remembered how I always laugh when I get hurt. Everyone around me is all "Oh, no, are you okay? Oh, dear, let me help you up. Who was the idiot who threw that at you? Uh-oh, are you bleeding?" and I'm just laughing.

So that means I AM masochistic! :O
Oh, that's just great now. I'll go eat my burnt, sugar-ful cupcakes and enjoy myself then. I obviously like that kind of thing.