If you've been watching any TV at all lately, you may have noticed that there have been many award shows that have taken place recently. Grammys, Golden Globes, Academy Awards- alright, those are the only ones I know of.
But anyways, I'm not going to be addressing the horrendous awarding that took place at either of the events. What I want to talk about is the lack of humour at award shows. ALL award shows. It doesn't matter if it's American, British, Indian, Pakistani, oh God, even if it's Malaysian- why is it that people at award shows never laugh?
You can partly blame the hosts. I mean half of these people's jokes are really hard to understand- the double entendre just doesn't work very often. But then you also have comedians act as hosts on award shows- why does that not work either? Why is the audience so goddamn stubborn? Did all their favourite uncles simultaneously die the day before the show? People will say genuinely funny things and all you will hear from the seats will be a light chuckle. Not even a pity laugh.
Still, I must praise music award shows for being a little less sober. Those film people are dried bread in comparison. God forbid they should laugh. I suppose they worry that their lip colour might peel off, or their hair might unravel, or their bow-tie might loosen, and come on now, they might have to go up on stage and receive an award! They can't possibly look such a mess. Better to sit with a tight smile and look like something's up their asses (I'm sorry, this just really upsets me as is obvious).
What cracks me up is when someone actually wins an award for Best Comedy. How on earth do these people know what comedy even is?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
LOUD
There happens to be this one mosquito that buzzes near my ear every night. Every single night. It comes right up to my ear and flaps its wings at me. Last night I had to go to sleep wearing ear muffs (that my father got me this winter for reasons unknown to me) so that I couldn't hear the mosquito.
The mosquito will not let me sleep.
And I have tried bug spray, mosquito coils, Mospel. But nothing has managed to kill this evil, possibly invincible insect.
Why did God even create mosquitoes? Everyone always questions the existence of fruit flies but I understand why we have fruit flies. They are what help in rotting fruit. That's important, because how else would food rot otherwise? There's only fruit flies and fungi.
Okay, this may not be the most valid reason but I still support the underdog.
But mosquitoes? What is the point behind their being? All that they can cause is human death. Either by:
a. Malaria, or
b. Annoying a sleep-deprived person into committing suicide.
And there are already like 45,611,879,592,327 ways for people to die. Accidents, diseases, you name it, it can probably kill a person. Isn't having mosquitoes in this world just for this purpose kind of excessive and unnecessary?
I wish mosquitoes were literate so they could read this post, and realise their self-worth, and just decide on mass-suicide because I can't take it anymore.
Mr. MosquitoKeepMeUpAllNight needs to GO.
The mosquito will not let me sleep.
And I have tried bug spray, mosquito coils, Mospel. But nothing has managed to kill this evil, possibly invincible insect.
Why did God even create mosquitoes? Everyone always questions the existence of fruit flies but I understand why we have fruit flies. They are what help in rotting fruit. That's important, because how else would food rot otherwise? There's only fruit flies and fungi.
Okay, this may not be the most valid reason but I still support the underdog.
But mosquitoes? What is the point behind their being? All that they can cause is human death. Either by:
a. Malaria, or
b. Annoying a sleep-deprived person into committing suicide.
And there are already like 45,611,879,592,327 ways for people to die. Accidents, diseases, you name it, it can probably kill a person. Isn't having mosquitoes in this world just for this purpose kind of excessive and unnecessary?
I wish mosquitoes were literate so they could read this post, and realise their self-worth, and just decide on mass-suicide because I can't take it anymore.
Mr. MosquitoKeepMeUpAllNight needs to GO.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Special
Economics makes a second appearance on my blog as I share with you what it has taught me this year.
It has taught me that Pakistan has an inferiority complex. I base this statement on the many attempts by this nation to be one-of-a-kind.
You see, firstly, did you know that there are many types of inflation? There are. The kind of inflation that takes place in Pakistan is called Stagflation. Let me tell you something about stagflation- it is referred to as a unique phenomena. Emphasis on 'unique'. This is because as inflation rises, unemployment rises too with stagflation. Not a good thing.
Also, did you know that most countries have, like, a law that asks foreign businesses to share ownership with local businessmen? Like India's Maruti-Suzuki? Well there are TWO countries in this world that allow foreign investors 100% ownership on businesses they open on their land. One is Brazil. The other is Pakistan. No points on guessing this one, though.
Oh, and Pakistan's Finance Minister? He is a banker. The Finance Minister is supposed to be an economist. They are, in other countries.
This country has real problems. I mean, I get that everyone confuses it with India or Afghanistan and all, and it really just wants to get it's own identity, but come on, this is just kind of pathetic.
Ashlee Simpson, much?
It has taught me that Pakistan has an inferiority complex. I base this statement on the many attempts by this nation to be one-of-a-kind.
You see, firstly, did you know that there are many types of inflation? There are. The kind of inflation that takes place in Pakistan is called Stagflation. Let me tell you something about stagflation- it is referred to as a unique phenomena. Emphasis on 'unique'. This is because as inflation rises, unemployment rises too with stagflation. Not a good thing.
Also, did you know that most countries have, like, a law that asks foreign businesses to share ownership with local businessmen? Like India's Maruti-Suzuki? Well there are TWO countries in this world that allow foreign investors 100% ownership on businesses they open on their land. One is Brazil. The other is Pakistan. No points on guessing this one, though.
Oh, and Pakistan's Finance Minister? He is a banker. The Finance Minister is supposed to be an economist. They are, in other countries.
This country has real problems. I mean, I get that everyone confuses it with India or Afghanistan and all, and it really just wants to get it's own identity, but come on, this is just kind of pathetic.
Ashlee Simpson, much?
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