First in order, Macbeth is most definitely bipolar and possibly on 'shrooms.
And Lady Macbeth is a gold-digging bitch. And apparently she goes crazy later on but if you ask me they're both already quite far out of their minds. Out of city limits AT LEAST.
Got Naveen a poster of PPP 'cause it had Bilawal on it but when I got home and examined it, it turns out it's NOT a PPP poster. No. It's a PPPP poster. Four P's. Over and over. What does the extra P stand for? Pajero? Pepsi? Pants?
Any ideas?
Note: My janam din's near. Ya'll better get me Nick OR ELSE.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Aziza Reviews Her Top 5 Kids' Movies
...'cause she's run out of things to write on.
1) The Labyrinth
An excellent piece of cinematography. Drunk puppets + Helping Hands + David Bowie? There can be no better kids' movie. My favorite of all times, resulting in a pretty raped tape.
Story line: Sarah must race against the clock through an insane Enid-Blyton-on-drugs labyrinth to rescue her baby brother from the clutches of song-singing, deliciously evil David Bowie (in powder-blue tights!)
Lesson taught: You better think twice before damning your siblings. Getting them back can prove mighty difficult.
2) Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie
Guess what? This one was supposed to have David Bowie, too! As King Neptune, but I don't think it does.
Watch the best of Spongebob and Patrick with awesome ridicule of masculinity and maturity, backed by catchy songs. Brilliant.
Story line: Little bitch Plankton steals King Neptune's crown and makes Mr. Krabs his scapegoat. Now Spongebob, with Patrick's companionship, must defy the constraints of being a kid to find the head-dress in six days time before Mr. Krabs gets zapped and Plankton takes over Bikini Bottom. Crucial help given by: Rock 'n' roll, bebeh.
Lesson taught: Mentally retarded and homosexual folk are people, too. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, okay?
3) Hunchback of Notre Dame
Only Disney animated movie worth the view. The hero is not a flowing hair-tuxedo combo hottie (since when is flowing hair that hot, anyways?). He is deformed and the movie is delightful. The villain falls into a lava-like pit of fire, COME ON! Way cool.
Story line: Acrobatic, bell-ringing hunchback Quasimoto and radical pole-dancing gypsy Esmerelda- stereotyped minorities in Paris preyed on by woman-less perv and Master of Parisians, Frollo. They leap, fight, and sing their way out of oppression but don't get together. Why???
Lesson taught: Do not listen to the talking gargoyles you happen to live with. Also, do not trust any blonds of the flowing hair variety with your (possible) girl.
4) Toy Story
An extra push to my already diminishing sanity. Reason why I now believe that all that exists on earth has feelings. Even dairy produce. If i choose not to fry the cracked egg, will it think I'm discriminating against it because of its disability?
Story line: Andy's cowboy doll, Woody, feels threatened by the new spaceman doll, Buzz. Pixar's first 3-D animation triumph which starts as a battle for toy-box superiority, ends with realisation of equality; ever-lasting friendship.
Lesson taught: Treat your toys equally or risk a Chucky/ Toy Soldiers-esque scene unfolding. Though, ofcourse, Chucky was alive because of a soul dwelling in it.
5) Jumanji
Who has NOT watched this movie? Robin Williams in one of his better roles, in my opinion, better than RV atleast. A far better film than that (not so) new board game movie Zathura or whatever. Zapora? I think it's Zathura. Does it even matter? Jumanji all the way, baby!
Story line: Kids find magical board game. Game is evil. Wild animals chase them around, local zoo gets chance to add to its attractions. Game must be played till the end for everything to go back to normal.
Result: highly odd, non-fatal action.
Lesson taught: If you find a board game that seems a bit too advanced for your decade and declares misty, threatening messages on its screen, DO NOT PLAY IT. Destroy it! Otherwise you will end up with a tail and a jungle man for a companion. Stick with Monopoly.
1) The Labyrinth
An excellent piece of cinematography. Drunk puppets + Helping Hands + David Bowie? There can be no better kids' movie. My favorite of all times, resulting in a pretty raped tape.
Story line: Sarah must race against the clock through an insane Enid-Blyton-on-drugs labyrinth to rescue her baby brother from the clutches of song-singing, deliciously evil David Bowie (in powder-blue tights!)
Lesson taught: You better think twice before damning your siblings. Getting them back can prove mighty difficult.
2) Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie
Guess what? This one was supposed to have David Bowie, too! As King Neptune, but I don't think it does.
Watch the best of Spongebob and Patrick with awesome ridicule of masculinity and maturity, backed by catchy songs. Brilliant.
Story line: Little bitch Plankton steals King Neptune's crown and makes Mr. Krabs his scapegoat. Now Spongebob, with Patrick's companionship, must defy the constraints of being a kid to find the head-dress in six days time before Mr. Krabs gets zapped and Plankton takes over Bikini Bottom. Crucial help given by: Rock 'n' roll, bebeh.
Lesson taught: Mentally retarded and homosexual folk are people, too. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, okay?
3) Hunchback of Notre Dame
Only Disney animated movie worth the view. The hero is not a flowing hair-tuxedo combo hottie (since when is flowing hair that hot, anyways?). He is deformed and the movie is delightful. The villain falls into a lava-like pit of fire, COME ON! Way cool.
Story line: Acrobatic, bell-ringing hunchback Quasimoto and radical pole-dancing gypsy Esmerelda- stereotyped minorities in Paris preyed on by woman-less perv and Master of Parisians, Frollo. They leap, fight, and sing their way out of oppression but don't get together. Why???
Lesson taught: Do not listen to the talking gargoyles you happen to live with. Also, do not trust any blonds of the flowing hair variety with your (possible) girl.
4) Toy Story
An extra push to my already diminishing sanity. Reason why I now believe that all that exists on earth has feelings. Even dairy produce. If i choose not to fry the cracked egg, will it think I'm discriminating against it because of its disability?
Story line: Andy's cowboy doll, Woody, feels threatened by the new spaceman doll, Buzz. Pixar's first 3-D animation triumph which starts as a battle for toy-box superiority, ends with realisation of equality; ever-lasting friendship.
Lesson taught: Treat your toys equally or risk a Chucky/ Toy Soldiers-esque scene unfolding. Though, ofcourse, Chucky was alive because of a soul dwelling in it.
5) Jumanji
Who has NOT watched this movie? Robin Williams in one of his better roles, in my opinion, better than RV atleast. A far better film than that (not so) new board game movie Zathura or whatever. Zapora? I think it's Zathura. Does it even matter? Jumanji all the way, baby!
Story line: Kids find magical board game. Game is evil. Wild animals chase them around, local zoo gets chance to add to its attractions. Game must be played till the end for everything to go back to normal.
Result: highly odd, non-fatal action.
Lesson taught: If you find a board game that seems a bit too advanced for your decade and declares misty, threatening messages on its screen, DO NOT PLAY IT. Destroy it! Otherwise you will end up with a tail and a jungle man for a companion. Stick with Monopoly.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Lawalib
http://hs.facebook.com/group.php?gid=16865575242
This is Naveen's Facebook group for Bilawal Bhutto.
Okay, so Bilawal Bhutto is the new chairperson for Pakistan People's Party after the death of his mother and everybody just LOVES him because, and I quote Anum here, "Go Bilawal, you're so HOT!"
And he is not, he looks sleepy all the time.
Anyways, this is not so much a post for reveling in his beauty. But isn't it so obvious that this is a super-sly move on Asif Zardari's part, for his own benefit?
Firstly, I totally do think Zardari should be a full-on suspect for Benazir's assassination because apparently he's the one who told her to pop out the sunroof and wave to the masses, resulting in three bullets in her head. That was, like, Phase 1 (no, not of D.H.A, you idiot, of his master plan!).
So okay, Benazir's dead. Now he pulls out the secret weapon (I feel like an absolute fool saying this): his miraculously hot son BILAWAL!
Play the organ! Play the organ!
Alright then, Bilawal has strung the heart strings of many a female after his press conference with his dad with his fancy British accent and sensitive-boy emotions. So that's Phase 2.
Phase 3 is letting it be known that Bilawal studies at Oxford, will be back once he's graduated. Long enough time for his little fans to grow up and be old enough to vote for him when he comes back (by the way, back when I was fooled into thinking he might actually be hot- thanks, Nav- I had the same idea. So this is not at all condescending a remark).
So he comes back, all the little girls go vote for him- "Ooh, I'm voting for the hottie"- and then he gets to be a puppet Prime Minister with Mr. 10 Percent at the real reigns.
ISN'T THAT SO CLEVER? And evil, too, duh.
Now before Naveed (or Naveen) comes along and points it out, I do see that my theory has quite a few loopholes because, well, for one there aren't enough 15-year-old girls in Pakistan for a majority vote.
But you know what? My point here is that all those specified Bilawal lovers- do not vote for him. He will not marry you for it and he will not save our country. I doubt many can, and especially not a kid who doesn't even know Urdu and has never even lived in Pakistan.
Also, if he does decide to get with lucky little you, do you really want some lady named Boozie Suzie at your wedding?: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=506355&in_page_id=1770
This is Naveen's Facebook group for Bilawal Bhutto.
Okay, so Bilawal Bhutto is the new chairperson for Pakistan People's Party after the death of his mother and everybody just LOVES him because, and I quote Anum here, "Go Bilawal, you're so HOT!"
And he is not, he looks sleepy all the time.
Anyways, this is not so much a post for reveling in his beauty. But isn't it so obvious that this is a super-sly move on Asif Zardari's part, for his own benefit?
Firstly, I totally do think Zardari should be a full-on suspect for Benazir's assassination because apparently he's the one who told her to pop out the sunroof and wave to the masses, resulting in three bullets in her head. That was, like, Phase 1 (no, not of D.H.A, you idiot, of his master plan!).
So okay, Benazir's dead. Now he pulls out the secret weapon (I feel like an absolute fool saying this): his miraculously hot son BILAWAL!
Play the organ! Play the organ!
Alright then, Bilawal has strung the heart strings of many a female after his press conference with his dad with his fancy British accent and sensitive-boy emotions. So that's Phase 2.
Phase 3 is letting it be known that Bilawal studies at Oxford, will be back once he's graduated. Long enough time for his little fans to grow up and be old enough to vote for him when he comes back (by the way, back when I was fooled into thinking he might actually be hot- thanks, Nav- I had the same idea. So this is not at all condescending a remark).
So he comes back, all the little girls go vote for him- "Ooh, I'm voting for the hottie"- and then he gets to be a puppet Prime Minister with Mr. 10 Percent at the real reigns.
ISN'T THAT SO CLEVER? And evil, too, duh.
Now before Naveed (or Naveen) comes along and points it out, I do see that my theory has quite a few loopholes because, well, for one there aren't enough 15-year-old girls in Pakistan for a majority vote.
But you know what? My point here is that all those specified Bilawal lovers- do not vote for him. He will not marry you for it and he will not save our country. I doubt many can, and especially not a kid who doesn't even know Urdu and has never even lived in Pakistan.
Also, if he does decide to get with lucky little you, do you really want some lady named Boozie Suzie at your wedding?: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=506355&in_page_id=1770
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Keyboard 5656
Hello this is Naveen's blog. My name is Naveen, I am 15 years old and will turn older~~~~~~~
YEAH, NIGGA
BITE ME.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, back to Aziza. I'm at Nav's and was going to post proper stuff but you know what? Her keyboard is shit. I made a new year's resolution to not curse but that is the best way to decribe it and anyways, WHEN have I ever kept my resolutions?
Oh, my God, it's the funniest thing EVER none of the numbers work except for 5 and 6. And so none of the special characters work either except for % and ^.
It's 56% DiZaBl3d^!
I have to copy-paste my exclaimation marks from the other posts on my blog. Naveen doesn't even use exclaimation marks, she compensates for them with ~
Ha~ Ha~ Ha~
This is my favorite new toy. Naveen's disabled keyboard.
YEAH, NIGGA
BITE ME.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, back to Aziza. I'm at Nav's and was going to post proper stuff but you know what? Her keyboard is shit. I made a new year's resolution to not curse but that is the best way to decribe it and anyways, WHEN have I ever kept my resolutions?
Oh, my God, it's the funniest thing EVER none of the numbers work except for 5 and 6. And so none of the special characters work either except for % and ^.
It's 56% DiZaBl3d^!
I have to copy-paste my exclaimation marks from the other posts on my blog. Naveen doesn't even use exclaimation marks, she compensates for them with ~
Ha~ Ha~ Ha~
This is my favorite new toy. Naveen's disabled keyboard.
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