Smooth Operator

I called 17 to get the number for Liberty Books. I knew the number had changed from 1-7 to something two digits longer but I couldn't remember what it was. And after it had changed, when I'd call 17 the recording would just tell me the new number.
So I called 17.
And the recorded voice said, "Asalaam-o-alaikum. The number you dailed is not listed. Please contact Inquiry 17 for assistance."

Thanks. A lot.

Also, the number is now 1217. Just so you know.

Call me!

I actually read about this in the newspaper (don't be so shock-and-awed, I only read the front page, once a month) last Saturday and I've been meaning to relay this since but I'm just really lazy. Haw.
Here's a dosage of fun politics for this month:

Now, we all know that after the terror attacks in Mumbai relations between Pakistan an India have been not-that-great. And while we, the everyday citizens, aren't very much affected by this, oh man you can bet that our government is definitely shook up!
Here's what happened: One fine day two weeks back, the government is up to it's usual business, you know, trying to run the country. And this is when the phone rings. It's for President Zardari. It's from India. The caller is the Indian External Affairs Minister- Pranab Mukherjee (I know, awesome name).
Now in case you didn't know this already, calling the President of a country isn't just a pick-and-dial affair. There is a protocol that is followed for all calls to the President. This is basically where they make sure you are who you say you are by making you hold a long while and transferring your call to a bunch of people who take your information and confirm that the call is being made in full honesty.
Not the case this time. I suppose the presidential staff was just so excited at the thought of call from India they decided to skip this routine for once and in no time at all Zardari was on the phone with Mukherjee. This is possibly how the call went:

Z: Good evening, Mukherjee. It is so nice to receive a call-
M: We're going to attack Pakistan.
Z: Wha-?
M: If you don't take action towards the terrorist happenings in Mumbai say bye-bye to your country.
Z: Uh.
M: Well, good bye.

That's quite close to how it apparently did happen! Anyways, Zardari, God bless him, decides to take immediate action. In seconds Pakistan's entire defense has been notified and put on red-alert. There is even thought of transferring the Pakistani troops from the Afghani border to the Indian one. After making the country as safe as possible, Zardari also apparently decided to call him best friend for a bit and tell him what's up, too. This I find very sweet and relate-able. Zardari, I didn't expect this from you.
Encouraged by the success of his call to Zardari and possibly giggling to himself, the caller decides to take a jab at America as well. This time he wants to talk to Condoleeza Rice. But the U.S. is smart and doesn't forward the call. Meanwhile Condoleeza is busy with the phone, too! She's calling up Mr. Mukherjee wanting to know what's going on. Mr. Mukherjee drops a metaphoric bomb- He didn't make any calls to President Zardari. Turns out it was all a hoax.

BESSSSTT! The guy who made the calls must have had the time of his life! How well his plan fell through! The whole world thought that two nuclear nations were about to go to war just because one call wasn't checked through properly! GOOD JOB, PAKISTAN.
And this is how Zardari and his staff made a joke of themselves and their country all across the entire goddamn world.
Creates hope for even the worst prank callers ever, doesn't it?

He's with PETA.

Isn't it frightfully ironic how Nick's birthday is just a day before Bakra Eid?

Wrong!

I find the phrase 'the cat's out of the bag' very disturbing. Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
Why would anyone ever bag a cat?
It's very wrong.
Please let all your cats out of their bags.